Everyone knows that there is no black and white rules in raising a teenager yet I know most parents would agree with me that it requires a lot of patience, persistence and determination. It can be a struggle but rewarding at the same time.

There are things that we, parents have to bear mind as we raise our teenagers. We should know these things, we’ve been there, right?

• Keep your communication lines open – I believe this is the most important thing in any relationship. Even though we feel that they are still too young to discuss these things such as dating, puppy love, etc. Whatever you do, do not put a barrier. Sometimes, we are guilty of this. Once our daughter starts talking about a crush, we immediately block them and say…“You’re not suppose to be talking about that, you’re still too young!” Try not to be a spoiler. There are many ways to send your message, just let them finish first. Make an effort to be enthusiastic about their story, ask questions and then you inject your point.

What we don’t want our teenagers to feel is that nobody wants to listen and understand them. This will leave them feeling angry and confused. They will try to find the company of friends and acquaintances whom they feel understands them.  Soon, you’ll find that they want to be with them than your family.

• Setting the Rules – The rules in the house should have been set long before, while they were growing up. This way you only have to remind them that even if they are teenagers still need to abide by the rules. I add up by saying that older siblings should be a role model.  A little responsibility wouldn’t hurt.

• Privileges and Responsibility – Since they are old enough for some privileges, let them have it. Give them some leeway however remind them what Uncle Ben (Spider Man) said, “With great power comes great responsibilities.” If they want to go malling with friends, let them be. Teenagers are in the process of finding their own identity, their spot in this universe. As long as they know their limitations and you know the friends that they hang out with, that’s fine.

• Talk about your fears – Do not be afraid to talk about your fears. It gives our children the proper perspective when they understand the “WHY?” Why are you not letting them go to an “open party” or go clubbing with friends? Discuss the dangers.

With my daughter, I didn’t feel the need to tell her not to drink when in a party. Huwaaat???  That would be the baffled reaction of my female friends. My reason — she will drink even if I told her not to. However, I have rules when it comes to drinking.

• Don’t drink anything that is given to you.
• Don’t leave your drink unattended, and if you should, don’t drink it again.
• Drink in moderation.

The first two rules have a very good reason. We are trying to avoid “spiked drinks”. You know what happens when you gulp up a spiked drink.

Dealing with the different concerns of adolescence can leave all parties feeling exhausted. Understand that this is the most difficult years of growing up, families should work together to recognize the needs of of each family member in order to be successful at helping their children in their development. As parents, keep your end goal in mind — we are raising a responsible, God-fearing individual that will soon be a contributor to our society.

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I kept reminding her to clean her face all the time especially after her cheer leading rehearsals since they almost always lie down on those mats which is obviously filthy because it’s the same mat they step on. Well, I guess the hormones of puberty is also a culprit. I just wish this phase will soon go away.

I just don’t want these acne to dampen her morale, they are especially sensitive when they are going through this phase.

Oh well, I just need to find an effective acne face wash for her to help heal those ugly zits.

Now that school is about to start, she is now back to controlling her food intake. Belonging to a cheerleading squad, I know where the pressure is coming from. However as a mom, I worry about her being obsessed on her body image that she might end up having an eating disorder.

My advice is to have a diet that is high in fiber which I would gladly take into consideration every time I do my grocery. It will not be only for her but for the whole family including me. Good thing, I have trained them to eat cereals every morning.

Fiber has a lot of important health benefits such as lowering of blood cholesterol and controlling the level of our blood sugar. Promoting the regularity of bowel movement and preventing constipation are the most important benefits fiber can give our body which is good for colon cancer prevention.
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I was forced to show her this video from Dove Campaign for Real Beauty. This was shared to me by my sister a couple of days ago through Facebook.

It is indeed a challenge to raise a young lady nowadays, most especially when their perception of beauty is what they see from fashion magazines and billboards. From the society and the fashion world that we live in now, they seem to define beauty as size O and perfect facial features. Thus putting so much pressure on young girls to look that way and it can be perilous.

Me and my hubby have had serious discussion as to how critical his role is being the first male authority in our young girl’s life. According to research as told by the book “Father Effects: How Your Father Influenced Who You Are and Who You Love,” it points out that young girls feel abandoned and rejected without their father’s presence in their growing up years. Growing up without a dad, I know that for a fact buy hey! I don’t blame anyone — Life is what you make it. However, as a parent, I learn from those mistakes and try to be better parents to my children. Hubby is not the touchy and showy type of person but he understands the importance of being a more active parent, it’s a work in progress.

Nevertheless, as a father, hubby is good at explaining things, like a teacher. He helps our daughter understand beauty in a godly way. That looking beautiful is not a bad thing but vanity is not good either. It is our role to enlighten her on the true meaning of beauty. Such as wearing modest clothes so as not to attract lust on the opposite gender and most importantly living a happy, healthy life that will radiate her beauty inside and out even without adornments and cosmetics. We try to influence her on being positive each and every day.

More than once, I have told my daughter that she is beautiful not only because I am her mother but she truly is. Love and assurance is essential in building up her self esteem in order for her to radiate beauty without having to compare herself with the standards of today’s society.