Posts Tagged ‘Adolescence’

Dealing with Adolescence

Written on February 25th, 2011 by sassymomno shouts

Raising a teenager can pose a lot of challenges especially if you have a girl. Aside from the rigors of their academic life there are other things to consider such as peer pressure and extra-curricular activities, you have to deal with their hormonal changes. The feeling that “No one understands me” is the last thing I want my daughter to feel. That is why I keep my communications open. However for some reason, they have this tendency to lock themselves up.

Everyone knows that there is no black and white rules in raising a teenager yet I know most parents would agree with me that it requires a lot of patience, persistence and determination. It can be a struggle but rewarding at the same time.

There are things that we, parents have to bear mind as we raise our teenagers. We should know these things, we’ve been there, right?

  • Keep your communication lines open – I believe this is the most important thing in any relationship. Even though we feel that they are still too young to discuss these things such as dating, puppy love, etc. Whatever you do, do not put a barrier. Sometimes, we are guilty of this. Once our daughter starts talking about a crush, we immediately block them and say…“You’re not suppose to be talking about that, you’re still too young!” Try not to be a spoiler. There are many ways to send your message, just let them finish first. Make an effort to be enthusiastic about their story, ask questions and then you inject your point.

What we don’t want our teenagers to feel is that nobody wants to listen and understand them. This will leave them feeling angry and confused. They will try to find the company of friends and acquaintances whom they feel understands them.  Soon, you’ll find that they want to be with them than your family.

  • Setting the Rules – The rules in the house should have been set long before, while they were growing up. This way you only have to remind them that even if they are teenagers still need to abide by the rules. I add up by saying that older siblings should be a role model.  A little responsibility wouldn’t hurt.
  • Privileges and Responsibility – Since they are old enough for some privileges, let them have it. Give them some leeway however remind them what Uncle Ben (Spider Man) said, “With great power comes great responsibilities.” If they want to go malling with friends, let them be. Teenagers are in the process of finding their own identity, their spot in this universe. As long as they know their limitations and you know the friends that they hang out with, that’s fine.
  • Talk about your fears – Do not be afraid to talk about your fears. It gives our children the proper perspective when they understand the “WHY?” Why are you not letting them go to an “open party” or go clubbing with friends? Discuss the dangers.

With my daughter, I didn’t feel the need to tell her not to drink when in a party. Huwaaat???  That would be the baffled reaction of my female friends. My reason — she will drink even if I told her not to. However, I have rules when it comes to drinking.

  • Don’t drink anything that is given to you.
  • Don’t leave your drink unattended, and if you should, don’t drink it again.
  • Drink in moderation.

The first two rules have a very good reason. We are trying to avoid “spiked drinks”. You know what happens when you gulp up a spiked drink.

Dealing with the different concerns of adolescence can leave all parties feeling exhausted. Understand that this is the most difficult years of growing up, families should work together to recognize the needs of of each family member in order to be successful at helping their children in their development. As parents, keep your end goal in mind — we are raising a responsible, God-fearing individual that will soon be a contributor to our society.

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A tweener in the house

Written on September 22nd, 2010 by sassymomno shouts

CRods Bday20“Did you get shorter?”

After not seeing my son for three weeks that was the question that welcomed me. Well, he’s a tweener about to experience puberty and he is growing … fast. With a smile, I just told him, “I think you got taller.”

However you want to prevent it, time flies so fast. My boy has always been my baby, being the youngest, and now he’s going to be a teenager soon. Hubby keeps on telling me to stop making a baby out of him but I just shrug it off, he will soon find his way and I want to savor every moment that he still wants to be with me.

Soon, he will be a young gentleman minding his own business. He did get his father’s physique, the one with lanky extremities which is good because even if they gain some extra weight it does not easily show. I just wish he’ll be a little more active when he grows up since he’s now a home buddy. Although he did assure that he’s going to the gym when he grows up which made me very happy. With his lanky structure, he needs the best muscle builders and exercises to buff up that physique.

Oh well, I am muttering again. I guess that’s why I made this blog and that’s the mom in me talking.

Enlightening my daughter on True Beauty

Written on October 16th, 2009 by sassymom2 shouts

Tonight this was the question my teenage daughter asked me, “Mom, when did you start having curves?” Honestly, I was astounded by the question. I told her not to think so much about her physical beauty, because she is beautiful as it is. I added that is not good to be conscious about her figure and weight.

I was forced to show her this video from Dove Campaign for Real Beauty. This was shared to me by my sister a couple of days ago through Facebook.

It is indeed a challenge to raise a young lady nowadays, most especially when their perception of beauty is what they see from fashion magazines and billboards. From the society and the fashion world that we live in now, they seem to define beauty as size O and perfect facial features. Thus putting so much pressure on young girls to look that way and it can be perilous.

Me and my hubby have had serious discussion as to how critical his role is being the first male authority in our young girl’s life. According to research as told by the book “Father Effects: How Your Father Influenced Who You Are and Who You Love,” it points out that young girls feel abandoned and rejected without their father’s presence in their growing up years. Growing up without a dad, I know that for a fact buy hey! I don’t blame anyone — Life is what you make it. However, as a parent, I learn from those mistakes and try to be better parents to my children. Hubby is not the touchy and showy type of person but he understands the importance of being a more active parent, it’s a work in progress.

Nevertheless, as a father, hubby is good at explaining things, like a teacher. He helps our daughter understand beauty in a godly way. That looking beautiful is not a bad thing but vanity is not good either. It is our role to enlighten her on the true meaning of beauty. Such as wearing modest clothes so as not to attract lust on the opposite gender and most importantly living a happy, healthy life that will radiate her beauty inside and out even without adornments and cosmetics. We try to influence her on being positive each and every day.

More than once, I have told my daughter that she is beautiful not only because I am her mother but she truly is. Love and assurance is essential in building up her self esteem in order for her to radiate beauty without having to compare herself with the standards of today’s society.