Archive for the ‘Raising a Teenager’ Category:
Being a parent always has its challenges and rewards especially when you have a teenage girl. There are a lot of pressure from people around them coupled with their raging hormones and the struggle to find a place in society. That is why it is important for parents to always be there for our teenage kids.
Recently, I had a chance to bond and share my hip and trendy beauty regimen with my teenage daughter. She attended her first prom night last weekend. We all know that for any girl, attending a prom is a milestone in our lives.
The preparation started a month before by choosing her gown, the next week would be the shoes and then I had to have her accessory customized for her gown.
The days before were dedicated to beauty preparation such having her nails done, waxing, threading, etc. And of course, the day itself has to be for the hair and make up. Oh my! My husband could only sigh at the preparation for this event.
Well, it was worth it. My daughter enjoyed the night. I feel so good to be able to be with her during the momentous occasion in her life. I know that this will have a significant and lasting effect on her. Even the smallest things count when it comes to spending time with our children, such as being there during their performances, going with them to buy their kikay stuff such bags, shoes, and even lingerie. Just to hear to your child say “Thank you!” is the most rewarding experience of all. Nothing beats that!
“Kids go where there is excitement. They stay where there is love.” - Zig Ziglar
Filed under Beauty and Personal Care, Parenting, Raising a Teenager, Self-Help, Shopping, Uncategorized
Tags:dealing with teenagers, mom and daughter bonding, mom and daughter bonding activities, Preparing for a Prom, Prom night, raising a teenager, Shopping, teenage concerns, Teenage Girls, teenage stuff
It’s been awhile since I have had that “kilig” feeling. And it’s nice to see my teenage daughter share her “kilig moments” with me. Well, I am not suppose to go into the details to respect her privacy, I am just glad to see my daughter opening up to me. Even hubby was surprised to know that my daughter even shares here SMS messages to me. LOL!
I was once there (We all are, aren’t we?) and I know how that shivers get into your spine and you just want to shout out and tell the world. As for me, I only had my friends to share it with — since Mom was kinda strict. That is the very reason why I made it a point to open the communication lines between me and my daughter.
I read this in Twitter today from an anonymous source:
“To be old & wise, you must first have to be young & stupid.”
Which is quite true, you need to be able to explore all the emotions in these world for you to have the wisdom to discern. To love like you’ll never be hurt is the way to live your life. One should not close their doors to any emotions just because they are afraid of being hurt. Emotions are merely the mental state which arises from spontaneity. It is not a conscious effort therefore we can control it. Not to say, that we should welcome sadness or grief into our lives, but we need to accept that it is a part of our lives.
Going back to my teenager, time and again, I am reminded that soon she will spread her wings. It’s seems like yesterday when she requested me to have “Disney Princess” for her pillow and bed sheets, or have that neon stars on the ceiling so she could see them when she sleeps, or even have her choice of kids switch plate covers for her bedroom lights. Time really flies so fast.
***kilig - is that shivery, fuzzy feeling that you get whenever you are infatuated.
Photo credit.
I came home one day from my yoga practice and saw my eldest crying and whining. My first instinct was of course, to ask what happened. Then she blurted out the events of the day that led her to cry. One thing good though, she didn’t cry in school.
My daughter even when she was a kid, was such a “cry baby” just like her mom but I have learned through time that crying does not solve anything. And so while she was growing up, we have taught her how to be strong and not be hypersensitive about things. Thanks to her dad, she has slowly outgrown the cry-baby stage … until now.
I tried not to show pity but I really feel for her. She’s the captain of her batch cheering squad and it’s a very big responsibility. When things don’t go her way, it can sometimes make her fall to the ground. My advise is simple. “If things don’t go your way, your tears will not help solve any of your problems. You can cry to release those emotions, but only for awhile. Let go and pick yourself up and try to be objective about things, it will let you focus more on the problem at hand.” It took while for her to stop sobbing but after all the pep talk, I know that she’ll be alright.
Sometimes the reason, why we cry and drown ourselves with sadness is because we keep looking back at the mistakes or the misfortunes that took place. LET IT GO! I am reminded of the quote I saw in Facebook…
When life’s strong winds come blowing, bend with them and let go. By bending, you become stronger in new places. By letting go, you will be making room for the new and the better.
Nowadays, you need to be more flexible. Get out of your comfort zones and try out new things. I used to see myself as an office type of person, where I have a fixed workstation. But lo and behold! I am now an entrepreneur. If I need to work, I do not need a workstation. I can work anywhere just like those hospital computer carts, my mobility does not affect my efficiency.
It took me awhile to find my niche and now I tell myself, “I should have done this a long time ago.” Oh well, it’s never too late …
We all know that breakfast is the most important meal of the day. But it’s always a struggle to convince your kids to take in food every morning. Even with the daily reminder it is the first meal of the day that gives them an energy boost, the grueling experience still continue.
After my daughter was confined in the hospital, I once again had a chance to remind my children that they need to take care of their body by taking in healthy foods, drinking a lot of water and getting enough sleep. Especially my daughter, who is so figure-conscious. I told her she can opt to have a healthy breakfast by eating oats and cereals, which is always readily available at home, rather than not eating anything at all. I believe that the lack of nutrients coupled with insufficient sleep, was the culprit in weakening her immune system especially when you are an athlete.
For someone who seldom gets sick, who is vibrant and athletic, staying in the hospital for days was one experience my daughter abhored. I trust that my daughter has realized that there are ways to be fit without sacrificing the health.
Breakfast is the meal that fuels our body giving us the energy to carry out our tasks within the day, that is why it is important to “break your fast” everyday. Someday soon my children will be on their own and I do not intend to use spotting scopes to monitor their every move. I trust that I have instilled the habot of healthy eating that they will adhere to as long as they live.
Daughter will be celebrating her birthday next month, this was the conversation we just had today regarding her proposed birthday gift.
Daughter: “Mom, can I sell my cellphone?”
Me: “Huuuwaaat?”, with a stunned reaction.
Daughter: “Mom, it keeps on hanging,” she explained. “I want to sell this and buy a new one.”
Me: “Where will you get the extra money for the new phone?” I was beginning to probe knowing that this conversation will lead somewhere.
Daughter: “I wanted to ask from you if that can be my birthday gift.”
Me: I can only smile as I replied, “I’ll think about it.”
What’s with kids these days? They always want the latest, it’s not as if I can keep with buying them the fad. And to think that my daughter’s phone is not that old and it’s one of the latest. I am sure that she’ll choose a more expensive one as in the likes of an iPhone or any smartphone like the new htc incredibel s. I just wish I have the means to provide but if not, she will have to settle for what she has until we can afford a new one.
As a mom to a cheerleader, I sometimes cannot help but worry about her getting injured. Once she came home with a bruise on the lips, the other time a sprained ankle and so on. I try to be strong but deep inside, I am concerned. Good thing she’s not a flyer — the person the goes up in the air during a stunt — or I’d probably die of heart attack watching her.
I always remind her to play it safe. Prevention is better than cure. It includes knowing the rules of the game and using the proper equipment and gears. I have provided her with support braces for her wrist since she lifts and ankle to support her balance. Good thing there a lot brands available in the market such as aircast hand and wrist support.
When she complains about these injuries, I try to be a mom and show my concern while being strong by saying that if it really hurts then she will have to stop. The latter one I guess is not an option for her at the moment. Her passion for this endeavor is quite commendable for a girl her age.
Well, this is just me being worry wart. I can’t help it … I’m a MOM!
Still can’t get over it, yesterday was truly a gratifying day and every mom would feel so proud.
Woke up at 3 o’clock in the morning to make sure that my girl gets up for her 5:30am call time. It was a big day for her and her team. It’s the WNCAA Cheerdancing Competition and their school will be competing.
I tagged my boy along and we arrived at the venue 30 minutes before the gate opened. For me, it was not as nerve-wracking as their their first competition but I am sure the girls were so tensed at the moment. As we entered the arena, I saw the girls prepping up.
As the program starts, I can already feel the tension in the air especially when they saw the “competition”. I readied myself to video their performance as they were lining up. The girls were good! Better than their performances before. The stunts were clean, although they were minor mishaps — but it’s normal nothing major. The team is getting better each time I watch them perform.
We had to wait until all the divisions were completed before the winners are announced, much to the boredom of my boy. The wait was not as nerve-wracking — the girls had a fun time reviewing their performances as recorded by their parents (including me), shared their meals, watching the other teams perform and just sharing fun times together. The camaraderie, the team spirit and the dedication they show that pushes me to support my girl in this endeavor. That even if I see her so exhausted from the everyday training, her dedication is admirable.
And so the announcement came…. once the 1st runner up was announced (St. Pedro Poveda), they immediately knew they were the Champions.
I even shrieked at the announcement! I could not contain my excitement. The girls were all jumping and screaming, who wouldn’t? It was a Proud Momma moment for me and I just want to share it. These are the things you live for….
~~~
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Raising a teenager can pose a lot of challenges especially if you have a girl. Aside from the rigors of their academic life there are other things to consider such as peer pressure and extra-curricular activities, you have to deal with their hormonal changes. The feeling that “No one understands me” is the last thing I want my daughter to feel. That is why I keep my communications open. However for some reason, they have this tendency to lock themselves up.
Everyone knows that there is no black and white rules in raising a teenager yet I know most parents would agree with me that it requires a lot of patience, persistence and determination. It can be a struggle but rewarding at the same time.
There are things that we, parents have to bear mind as we raise our teenagers. We should know these things, we’ve been there, right?
- Keep your communication lines open – I believe this is the most important thing in any relationship. Even though we feel that they are still too young to discuss these things such as dating, puppy love, etc. Whatever you do, do not put a barrier. Sometimes, we are guilty of this. Once our daughter starts talking about a crush, we immediately block them and say…“You’re not suppose to be talking about that, you’re still too young!” Try not to be a spoiler. There are many ways to send your message, just let them finish first. Make an effort to be enthusiastic about their story, ask questions and then you inject your point.
What we don’t want our teenagers to feel is that nobody wants to listen and understand them. This will leave them feeling angry and confused. They will try to find the company of friends and acquaintances whom they feel understands them. Soon, you’ll find that they want to be with them than your family.
- Setting the Rules – The rules in the house should have been set long before, while they were growing up. This way you only have to remind them that even if they are teenagers still need to abide by the rules. I add up by saying that older siblings should be a role model. A little responsibility wouldn’t hurt.
- Privileges and Responsibility – Since they are old enough for some privileges, let them have it. Give them some leeway however remind them what Uncle Ben (Spider Man) said, “With great power comes great responsibilities.” If they want to go malling with friends, let them be. Teenagers are in the process of finding their own identity, their spot in this universe. As long as they know their limitations and you know the friends that they hang out with, that’s fine.
- Talk about your fears – Do not be afraid to talk about your fears. It gives our children the proper perspective when they understand the “WHY?” Why are you not letting them go to an “open party” or go clubbing with friends? Discuss the dangers.
With my daughter, I didn’t feel the need to tell her not to drink when in a party. Huwaaat??? That would be the baffled reaction of my female friends. My reason — she will drink even if I told her not to. However, I have rules when it comes to drinking.
- Don’t drink anything that is given to you.
- Don’t leave your drink unattended, and if you should, don’t drink it again.
- Drink in moderation.
The first two rules have a very good reason. We are trying to avoid “spiked drinks”. You know what happens when you gulp up a spiked drink.
Dealing with the different concerns of adolescence can leave all parties feeling exhausted. Understand that this is the most difficult years of growing up, families should work together to recognize the needs of of each family member in order to be successful at helping their children in their development. As parents, keep your end goal in mind — we are raising a responsible, God-fearing individual that will soon be a contributor to our society.
~~~
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After three weeks of not having a house help, my life is back to regular programming. Although I find it a very good exercise for me and the kids to do the household chores, it was the fact that I have to be home most of the time that makes the task very difficult.
Having no house help gave me the opportunity to teach the kids more responsibility. Now, that they are big enough to take on some household tasks, I let them do it. I assigned and implemented the tasks and supervised them. It was hard at first but they got use to it. Even now that the help is here, I told them that I will continue to let them do some bits of tasks so they won’t be dependent on her.
The major activity that I missed is hitting the gym…. three weeks with no exercise. I once said that even if I take the best diet pills in the market but if I don’t burn those calories, it will not be effective. Finally, I can go back and do some of the things I missed.
Yesterday, we got an invitation for my two children to participate in a Debutant’s ball. My son will be part of the 18 roses and my daughter will be one of the well wishers for the 18 candles. The party will be next month and yes, I am the one excited for my kids especially for my son, it’s his first formal party. (wink)
As early as now, I am window shopping for the right wardrobe. Going through the rack of gowns and mens ties. It motivates me to shop and create the perfect look for my kids. I guess that’s the “Fashionista” in me that’s working.
For my son, we will soon visit the tailor for his custom made pants and vest. As for my daughter, I have done my pre-shopping and we will soon hit the racks with her so she can choose her gown and of course, her shoes. The stage mom can’t wait, LOL!
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